Todo list OR Regret list?

This time is all about Ph.D dissertation,
All the things I wanna to do have to be put into the todo list,
Let them wait there for me to pick them up again in months,
The books I wanna read, the programs I wanna learn, the topic I wanna study,
The trip I wanna have, The movie I wanna watch.....
I would rather believe I will never do them in my whole life,
When I finally got my Ph.D and pick up this list,
I would definitely not be in the mood to do anything like these stuff.
So it's just a regret list, list up all the things I missed this year.
It has been four years.
I had thought I would have a successful 4 years.
But when I finally get the chance to write the dissertation and look
back the 4 years,
It's hard to tell it's success.
In fact, it's pathetic.
I thought I can write an IEEE paper, but I didn't;
I thought I can be an expert in this field, but I am not,
I thought I can have some amazing study result, but I can't.
I don't know what I have in this Ph.D trip.
I can't tell it's because I am not work hard enough or just because I am
not a Ph.D type person.
I even have nothing to blame for this terrible result because I don't
wanna to blame myself.

I find my wife and have a happy family.
That's the only successful result I got in the past 4 years.